Chameleon Moon by RoAnna Sylver book thoughts

The Synopsis

"The city of Parole is burning. Like Venice slips into the sea, Parole crumbles into fire. Trapped inside is an entirely unlikely population of people with bizarre, beautiful, and terrifying abilities. When Regan, an anxiety-ridden hit man with the peeling skin of a lizard, meets Evelyn, a singer, revolutionary, and unofficial superhero, it’s up to them to get to the heart of the mystery of Parole and its quarantined inhabitants. Along with a diverse group of misfits, they will evade a deadly totalitarian police force, uncover the truth about their entwining pasts, and fight to survive a cataclysmic disaster."

My Thoughts

This book is simply amazing! There is no other way to put it. There is no way I can do this book justice. I read it for diverseathon as an own voices book (own voices for sexuality and disability). It has POC, LGBT+ people including a kick-ass transgirl MC, it deals with anxiety, depression, PTSD, as well as physical disability. Themes include, but not limited to, love, friendship, self care, resistance (it's not futile!), caring about people. There is a poly relationship with f/f/f that includes the transgirl and they have a little boy named Jack. There is a non-binary character as well. The author identifies as non-binary, queer, and deals with chronic pain, medical issues and is neurodivergent. If you'd like to check out more about RoAnna Sylver Here is an interview and their twitter is @RoAnnaSylver.

Qoutes

"Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary beings, welcome to the Emerald Bar."

"In this city of the powerless, somebody was taking some power back."

"She shifted from blazing power to gentle warmth, settling down and giving the audience a soft gaze that made every member feel included and welcome."

"Trade it, fight over it, die for it." Rose gave a sad shake of her head. "It's not right. It's not fair. Access to clean drinking water used to be a human right. And in the United States, at least we had it. Now it's currency.""

""I am strong," Evelyn whispered to herself, eyes closed. "I am brace. I am a goddess who contains multitudes of galaxies. My spirit is infinite, my soul is towering, and my shoes are hella cute. I can do this.""

They live in a police state. There are so many things that make it so relevant to today and the current political climate and society. So many things that make it feel as if it were written today, and it was published a few years ago. So many important messages and themes. It's a dystopia, that feels oddly realistic about dark realities, but this is an oddly optimistic dystopia and I mean that in a great way. It's powerful, hopeful, it talks about resistance, about being there for each other, about inclusion, about love and humanity. The characters are all strong, flawed, human, caring, and different with their own struggles.

This book gripped me from the start and held on tight! I care so much for these characters and can't wait to continue with their story! Having dealt (and continuing to) with anxiety, depression and PTSD I really appreciated that rep and could relate to certain things. I can't speak on all the rep in the book though of course. I learned about being non-binary, a poly relationship and that my default is monogamous when I realized I was confused like "whose with who?" for awhile only to finally be smacked in the face with they are in a poly relationship. The transgirl, Evelyn, stood up to her cousin when he misgendered her and used the wrong name. He was disrespectful initially but they weren't having any of it and he fixed himself. Transition stuff is also mentioned in the text, not in detail. I can not speak on the trans rep myself. I just hope I got all the bases covered for anyone who might want to pick up this book, to decide if they want to or not.

Also TW for fire. I mention this as I was in a house fire over 4 years ago. While I still have some issues i'm better now than I used to be and I know 4 years ago I couldn't have handled this. It's not handled badly or anything, I love this book! It's just if any mention of it is too much, then i'd steer clear.

Honestly I don't want to spoil anything and I really hope more people pick up this book! I feel it has so many important messages and could help so many people hang on to hope, to know they are not alone, that they are cared about, and to resist. I highly recommend this book and gave it a full 5 out of 5 stars! A big favorite!

Far From You by Tess Sharpe book thoughts

The Synopsis

"Nine months. Two weeks. Six days.

That's how long recovering addict Sophie's been drug-free. Four months ago her best friend, Mina, died in what everyone believes was a drug deal gone wrong - a deal they think Sophie set up. Only Sophie knows the truth. She and Mina shared a secret, but there was no drug deal. Mina was deliberately murdered.

Forced into rehab for an addiction she'd already beaten, Sophie's finally out and on the trail of the killer—but can she track them down before they come for her?"

My Thoughts

I read this for Diverseathon. A readathon centered on reading diverse books, especially own voices, books where the author identifies with the same marginalization that is portrayed in the book. Sexuality, Race, Disability (physical or mental), Gender Identity etc. I had wanted to pick this book up for awhile as the Main character is bisexual, disabled and in chronic pain, like me, and I've never read or heard of another book with a character like that. Disabled? Sure. Bisexual? Sure. Both at the same time plus chronic pain? I'm sure there are other books out there but so far this is the only one I know of. The author identifies as bisexual and also has chronic pain, though for a different reason than the MC in this book.

First I want to get the one thing that is bothersome out of the way. Sophie, the MC, struggles with a drug addiction, to pain medication Oxy. Which is of course something that happens to people, and indeed a story that should be told. However there are plenty of people who do not have issues taking narcotics without getting addicted to them and having problems. The fact that not all people + pain meds = addiction is not unpacked in the book. I have seen the author mention this on twitter, that she messed up there and is sorry. The reason it's a problem that it's not unpacked in the book is because many times doctors don't want to treat people who need pain medicine with what they actually need to help them. I speak from my own experience. I live in chronic pain (for different reasons that the MC) and I refuse to take medicine unless I REALLY need it, especially pain medicine. Not because i'm afraid of being addicted, i've never had an issue with that myself, but because they often DO NOT WORK. The ONLY hope I have of a pain medicine working is with a strong narcotic, the EXACT thing that doctors don't want to prescribe, no matter what! I'm sorry i'm getting angry here but it is personal to me. I have a high pain tolerance due to my medical issues and living in chronic pain my entire life so for me to even think about taking pain medicine, something is wrong.

I do understand doctors and people's concerns with addiction though as it is a thing that happens and it's horrible. Not everyone has issues with it though and many people, especially women, do not get the treatment they need because of this and the fact that women are generally under-treated anyway because of stereotypes. To not unpack this is harmful to people. I do appreciate the author realizing this though after seeing people mention it and really listening. I actually saw her tweet about it (I was already following her) while I was in the middle of the book and wondering when it was going to be unpacked, and honestly already getting annoyed with it. Knowing it wouldn't be but the author saw the problem there did make me feel better. Everyone messes up, it's just important to listen and learn when you do. :)

So onto the rest of the book. The bisexual rep was also great imo. I am only one bisexual person but I can say that personally I loved it! Bisexual is used on the page! That is so hard to find in books and honestly makes me emotional seeing the rep straight-forward like that! Many times it's just assumed in books when characters like boys and girls but never actually said. It's said in this book! It's talked about, her feelings and being bisexual, in the book and I loved it so much <3.

Also while I have different physical problems than Sophie I was also able to relate to her feelings about the chronic pain and disability. I saw myself in Sophie in more ways than one.

I can not speak on her addiction to pain pills as i've never had that myself. I can say I thought it was well done but coming from someone who has never struggled with addiction, that means nothing.

I loved the plot of this book. The writing goes back and forth in time, and it was fun piecing it all together and trying to figure out who did it with it being a murder mystery. I didn't have much trouble keeping up with what was going on in the book and I found it very readable. It kept up a steady pace for the most part and kept me curious as to who did it, trying harder and harder to figure it out before it was finally revealed. And no, I didn't guess it!

I loved the characters. Sophie, Mina, Trev (Mina's brother). All good characters, with their flaws and personalities.

The book may not be 100% perfect but overall I loved it and found many great things in it! It is seriously my most tabbed book and it's wonderful! The colors mean nothing, I just ran out of blue tabs.

I gave it 4 stars out of 5.

Sunstone by Stjepan Šejić Volume 5 Book Thoughts

Oh man what a ride! This is the final volume in this ARC (not in the story itself) and I have fallen in love with these characters! It's a story about 2 women interested in BDSM and try it out with each other, and end up falling in love. It's sweet, it's funny, it's frustrating, it's heart-breaking, it even has some thought-provoking stuff in there and I love it all!

I had mentioned a couple volumes ago about bi-erasure, which was cleared up in this one I think? I still feel iffy about it but i'm thinking now that could just be me and this is another story, but it was addressed, which I did appreciate!

Also there were some scenes that made me uncomfortable, but in a good way! I'm seeing that now, at the time I was just uncomfortable and confused. I saw too much of myself in Lisa, when she is dealing with self-loathing about her flaws, that needed attention for their relationship to survive. I already related to Lisa and to see that, blown up in a comic like it was, was a bit hard to deal with, but I do think it was well done! I wouldn't have if Ally hadn't also owned up to her own flaws and mistakes but she did. Neither girl is perfect but they are both wonderful characters! It just happens to be told from Lisa's POV.

The only bad thing I can really say is I did feel it dragged on a bit but I would love more with these characters! So....XD There will be more, the future ARCs are centered around other characters but Ally and Lisa will still be there, you can check out the author's deviantart here http://shiniez.deviantart.com/ if you want.

I wish I had re-read the previous volumes but I also think it'll be better to do so now knowing what I know, I think a re-read would be perfect! I gave this volume 4 stars but really it deserves more. That was just me and I highly recommend this series!

E.T. The Extra Terrestrial in his adventure on Earth book thoughts

My Thoughts

It's a novel based off the movie and from what i've heard is very different than the movie. I haven't seen the movie since I was a child..like literally 20 years ago. I remember nothing about it, other than I loved it, so this is just going off the book and has nothing to do with the movie which I do plan to watch at some point.

I'm sorry to say there isn't a lot I like about this book (and this review might contain spoilers..but it's E.T.?). All of this is just my opinions or thoughts, and often i'm not sure how i'm really supposed to take things. I'm all for discussion and such.

Elliot's mom was emotionally abusive to the children at times, she just wasn't a good parent. On the other end she was wishy washy and never felt like a real character to me personally. She was also obsessed with wanting a man and there were other woman-stereotypes. She made her children hold her accountable for what she ate and hated herself when she would binge or eat some snack. She would hate her children for awhile then at the end of the book suddenly cared about Elliot? She didn't seem to care before that..maybe a blue moment here or there. I don't think I can describe it well but she just felt all over the place to me.

On the eating from this particular passage (though it's not the only thing when it comes to mentioning her eating)

"After a brief, anxious nap, she woke hungry. Was it time to eat a loaf of bread smeared with strawberry jam? Had the hour of depravity come once more?
She slipped quietly from bed and tiptoed into the hall. The children mustn't see her; it was wrong to set them a bad example, of a mother who could not control her appetite, who at this very moment was beset by visions of jelly."

I'm not sure what to think on this (or many things in this book) but...hour of depravity? And from this and other passages through-out the book "could not control her appetite" sounds like she's supposed to go hungry because otherwise she is setting a bad example. Eating well doesn't mean going hungry..

The brothers also would constantly torture their sister's dolls whenever they wanted her to go along with whatever they said. Also when Elliot ended up wanting to keep her (Gertie) quiet about E.T. she blackmailed him (she's 5) and another kid asked him

""Whadja, hurt her or somethin'?"
"Low, Greg," said Tyler, "very low."
Greg dribbled on the back of the chair. "I've seen everything now." He stared at Elliot, who, so far as he knew, had been like every other brother in the world, taking pleasure in playing with his sister only when the game was interesting-for example, tickling her until she nearly had a nervous breakdown, a game he often enjoyed with his own sister. Or tying her to a tree and then tickling her. Or crashing into the bathroom with four or five other guys while she was taking a bath, and then standing around laughing while she screamed. Those were the right games. But this?"

I also want to point out that I saw another review mention that Elliot's mother asked them twice, when they were causing mischief, if they were raping their little sister including ""what were you doing here? I hope you weren't raping your sister?!"" and I noticed I have an expurgated edition, in my edition rape is never mentioned BUT I do see where it would fit perfectly, in a weird way (and not good) as it was just changed to "hurting her" if i'm right about where it'd be, which of course I can't actually say if I am or not. And shortly afterwards Elliot's mother tells Elliot to clean his room or she will kill him, and it sounds serious. Like yes, I understand telling your kid to clean their room and even punishing them, but threatening, in a serious manner, to kill them over it? Is that just me or is that a bit...extreme?

Also of the brothers torture of the dolls, E.T. had wrecked a toy of Gertie's (for the purpose of communicating with his alien brethren to return home, I understand that part) and Gertie, being 5 and not knowing why he did it at the time, was understandably upset...and this happened.

""E.T., you wreck all my toys!" she shrieked, in tones that penetrated the entire house.
Her brothers patiently explained, while twisting the arms of her doll into hideous postures, that she must learn to be generous.""

Please tell me if i'm the only one that doesn't sit right with? I just picture them with evil grins every time they do this, that's just one example, not the only.

There was a weird and creepy subplot with E.T. being in love with Elliot's mother, while he was hiding away in Elliot's closet watching her without her even knowing he existed, let alone in her home watching her. I don't know quite what to say there.

E.T. is constantly described by others, especially in the end of the book, as a hideously deformed monster but more than that, that because he's ugly to us humans that he must not have any feelings. This is just one, of more, passages.

"The doctor who led the team kept trying to wipe his own brow, only to find it encased in glass. He was frustrated, confused, had begun to look upon E.T. as a creature dragged from the bottom of the sea, a monster of unconsciousness, an inhuman form whose meaning, purpose and secret would ultimately evade him. Awesome, yes, it was that, but it's unspeakable ugliness robbed the doctor of his usual tenderness. His weary mind was seeing pterodactyls, primordial lizards, grotesqueries that should never have been and fortunately had ceased to be. This thing before him was one of them, cold and unfeeling, a creature out of one's nightmares-the deformed monster that one always feared would emerge from the womb of life. It was natural to hate such an object and wish it dead."

and it just keeps going from there with multiple people. E.T. is actually very very old and has plenty of feelings, which is great and all. It's just coming from me, being someone born with a lot of medical issues and some deformities it really hurts because that's how people in real life end up being treated.

Unspeakable ugliness robbing people of their compassion. Thinking that something so ugly or deformed couldn't possibly have feelings. That it was out of someone's nightmares. Worry that a deformed baby would come out of the womb *like me* and saying it's natural to hate such an "object" and wish it dead. Which deformed or disabled people often are in real life. It just hit home for me.

Something I need to point out about ALL of this...none of it was ever challenged in the text that I could see. It seemed OK and RIGHT and the CORRECT way of things. Could I have missed stuff? Certainly. I can only say the way I saw it. If I had seen the stuff be challenged in any way i'd be loving this book. Sadly that isn't the case.

On the plus side there is a couple funny moments, hearing E.T.'s thoughts (minus the ones about Elliot's mother) were interesting and him talking to plants, and they talk back, was entertaining. He's an ancient botanist and is like a master of plants. Also there were some sweet moments between E.T. and Elliot.

I ended up giving it 2 stars but reading this review makes me question giving it that much. o.o

Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu book thoughts

Synopsis

"A classic Victorian vampire novella, which influenced Bram Stoker's later treatment of the vampire mythos in Dracula."

My thoughts

I decided to pick this book up when I heard about it, because as far as I know original vampire story (pre-dates Dracula) and lesbian vampires at that. While that is all well and true, and I did see how Bram Stoker used it for the vampire mythos in Dracula, it ultimately fell flat for me, though I do think a big factor in that is how old it is.

For whatever reason I expected more out of it than I should have, and I know that's my fault. I was often taken out of the story to look up words and it felt very pretentious. I get that that has to do with being written in the 19th century, I guess that's how they talked then. It was mostly easy to read though, quick and was atmospheric sometimes. Mostly I just found it monotone, forgetable and eventually non-climactic. It was also extremely predictable, would be for anyone now-adays I think but at the time I understand it wouldn't have been most likely being the first vampire story and all. Even though it is the original so this obviously wasn't the case then it felt like "trope trope trope trope trope soooo predictable"...and boring. It is a quick read and i'm glad I read it, I don't regret it. I learned a couple words and learned how the vampire stories got started and all that. The start of the vampire stories, where Bram Stoker got ideas for Dracula, and lesbian vampires (super huge for being in the 19th century!) I am very grateful for it and glad I read it, it just feel flat for me now over 100 years later, but i'm glad it exists. I gave it 3 stars. I didn't dislike it but I didn't really like it either.

The Edge of the Abyss by Emily Skrutskie book thoughts

My Thoughts

I was able to read an e-arc of this early thanks to netgalley and Flux. It was (and still is) my most anticipated release for this year, coming out April 18th! It's the sequel to The Abyss surrounds us, my favorite book of last year! No spoilers here for those who haven't read the first one. You can click Here to be taken to the goodreads page. Short synopsis? Bad-ass lesbian pirate girls fighting sea monsters, hell yeah!

I had high expectations for this book thanks to loving the first one so much, and it delivered even more! Action from the very start all the way through! It is more than action though, you really get to know the characters even more and the character development is fantastically well done! I also liked that we got to see more of the side characters too, not just the main ones.

The plot is well thought out and I could tell research went into it. I learned things about boats and animals alike and some pirate words, i'm not well versed in any of those things. That said it is also easy to read and never took me out of the story.

I was very emotional through the whole story. I fell so much deeper in love with the characters. I was scared for them, heart-broken when they were and there are some well-timed laughs along the way too.

There is a lot of gray-area in this story. No one is perfect and even bad characters, like Santa Elena the pirate captain, have good qualities too. I loved the characters individual motives and agendas, I understood why they did the things they did.

The romance, can we please talk about the romance?! It is slow-burning and it admits when they are not on equal footing, them often refusing to do anything because of the power-imbalance and saying it like it is. It is so refreshing and loved every second of it, even when I was frustrated like "Just kiss already!" XD.

This duology has claimed a place in my favorites of all-time list and the characters, especially Swift and Cas, have places in my heart. I can not express how much I love this series!

If it isn't obvious, 5 out of 5 stars!

The legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time Part 1 book thoughts

The Synopsis

"In the mystical land of Hyrule, three spiritual stones hold the key to the Triforce, and whoever holds them will control the world! A boy named Link sets out on a quest to deliver the Emerald, the spiritual stone of the Forest, to Zelda, Princess of the land of Hyrule. The journey will be long and perilous, and Link will need all his skill and courage to defeat evil. The battle for Hyrule and the Sacred Realm has begun!"

My Thoughts

I have fond memories of playing Zelda on the N64 when I was a child. This book is the video game, in manga story-form. I enjoyed the story and the art work. There really isn't a lot to stay here, huge fans of Zelda might enjoy this, I did. If you aren't a zelda fan it might be lost on you, as I read I was remembering playing those areas in the video game. Though I never did beat the game...but I saw my mom beat it. It's a fun fantasy adventure story. Very tropey but a classic in video games as far as i'm concerned. I gave it 4 stars.

Frostblood by Elly Blake book thoughts

The Synopsis

"In a land governed by the cruel Frostblood ruling class, seventeen-year-old Ruby is a Fireblood who has spent most of her life hiding her ability to manipulate heat and light - until the day the soldiers come to raid her village and kill her mother. Ruby vows revenge on the tyrannous Frost King responsible for the massacre of her people.

But Ruby's powers are unpredictable...and so are the feelings she has for Arcus, the scarred, mysterious Frostblood warrior who shares her goal to kill the Frost King, albeit for his own reasons. When Ruby is captured by the Frost King's men, she's taken right into the heart of the enemy. Now she only has one chance to destroy the maniacal ruler who took everything from her - and in doing so, she must unleash the powers she's spent her whole life withholding.

Frostblood is set in world where flame and ice are mortal enemies - but together create a power that could change everything."

My Thoughts

I heard of this book as one of many books coming out this year and it sounded interesting to me. I haven't gotten much into fantasy yet and i'd like to. I saw it was on netgalley and picked up an e-arc! It comes out January 10th I believe.

A world divided by belief and power, divided up into binaries. Fire and Frost, and seeing those binaries blur. I loved so much about this book it's hard to figure out where to begin!

I really enjoyed the world-building, granted I would have liked a little bit more. The Gods and stories of the people were wonderful and I really enjoyed hearing about them, and how stuff came to be the way it was. The pacing was steady and picked up even more in the second half of the story. I hated having to put it down! There were some twists I didn't see coming as well that I quite enjoyed!

I loved the characters! I could relate to the Main Character, Ruby, at times, the way she felt and thought. The things that she did. She is a nice and like-able character, always meaning well, but fiery and stubborn! I loved that about her! She knows her worth and that she is a person, not a tool to be used. She is caring, and passionate. I just loved her so much! I also loved the side characters, whether I loved them, loved to hate them and when I didn't know how to feel at first as gray-areas were a thing and new stuff was revealed.

I really enjoyed the writing too. I liked the whole fantasy adventure and the fire/frost aspects of it.

I have my issues with fire (this book was fine for me, certain things are issues for me, not everything, as I've gotten better over time), which i've mentioned before, and when I took a quiz Here about "Are you a frostblood or a fireblood?" I was hoping for frostblood (though not the assholes in the book, there are good Frostbloods but they are the ruling class and those in power...well you catch the drift) simply because I tend to like ice. I love ice type Pokemon for example, I don't know why, I just do. I got fireblood...and the more I read the book (I had barely started reading it when I saw and took the quiz) I understood why! Ruby is a fireblood and I saw some of myself in her. Stubbornness...temper..yup yup. Having read it, I am a proud fireblood then! ^_^

It tugged at my heart, got emotion out of me as well as actual tears. I thoroughly enjoyed the ride this book took me on!

I gave this book a solid 4.25 stars.

I would recommend this book to fantasy lovers or those wanting to get into fantasy. I can't wait for the second book! Currently expected in September. This first book does not end off on a cliff-hanger, it's a full story-arc, which I loved! I'm just very excited for the next story arc to see what happens!

Great book to start off the year!

January Want To Read and stuff for 2017

I plan on being more active here in 2017. Yes I posted a review on here for every book I read in 2016, and plan to keep that up, (granted I combined the last 2 which I really shouldn't have but meh) but I can do more, and want to. I tried and failed last year to keep stats. This year i'm keeping stats in a spreadsheet, multiple spreadsheets actually. In a simple way but will help me keep track of the books I read through-out the year and many interesting stats. So I hope to add monthly want to read's on here and the monthly stats as well. I do have a booktube channel as well Here if you'd like to check it out. If you have more things you'd like to see on this blog, or any suggestions, don't hesitate to let me know! :)

My January Want to Read

I could not for the life of me get both the kindle book and the physical books in the same shot because of lighting. I tried. Anyway there are 8 books in it. My Booktube video of my Jan WTR is up Here.

1. Frostblood by Elly Blake

I got an ARC of this thanks to netgalley. It's what i'm currently reading. It is expected to come out January 10th. A Young Adult fantasy that i'm seeing compared to Frozen...which i've never seen. It involves Firebloods and Frostbloods and right now, as of writing this, i'm 21% of the way through and loving it!

2. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time Part 1 by Akira Himekawa

A manga about the video game Zelda in a storyline from what I understand. I like zelda, never completed a game because I kept restarting for some reason, and I want to read this and get more into manga.

3. Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu

All I know is lesbian vampires and it actually pre-dates Dracula, so hell yeah I want to read it!

4. Gemina by Amie Kaufman, Jay Kristoff and Marie Lu

I read Illuminae in November, and loved it! A YA sci-fi/romance adventure. This is the second book in a trilogy with the 3rd coming out later this year.

5. Dracula by Bram Stoker

A vampire gothic-horror classic. Loved it in movie form and love vampires in general. I can't wait to get into this!

6. E.T. The Extra Terrestrial: in His Adventure on Earth by William Kotzwinkle

Loved the movie as a child and figured why not read the book? E.T. <3

7. Hollow City by Ransom Riggs

Read Miss Peregrine's home for peculiar children last January and while I didn't like it I have been meaning to get to this second book in the trilogy, see if it gets better as i've heard it does.

8. Sunstone Vol 5 by Stjepan Šejić

The 5th volume (expected to come out January 24th) of Sunstone. Having looked at the author's deviantart Here and Amazon I believe it's coming out January 24th but if it doesn't I have 2 more graphic novels that i'll choose from instead while I wait (if it does come out i'll get it asap!). I want to read at least 24 graphic novels in 2017, so at least 2 a month. Zelda counts for one. I also have Dance in the vampire bund by Nozomu Tamaki and Vampire Dance by Sergio Bleda as backups.

Sunstone is a comic about 2 girls, Lisa and Ally, exploring their kink of BDSM and falling in love. It's sweet, has a wonderful storyline, great artwork and I love it! Obviously the backup graphic novels are about vampires and that is all I know. I like vampires...that's enough for me! ^_^

This is not necessarily the order they will get read and if I change stuff so be it, but I really want to get to these so here's hoping! :D