Friday, June 26, 2020

White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo Book Thoughts

White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo


Groundbreaking book exploring the counterproductive reactions white people have when discussing racism that serve to protect their positions and maintain racial inequality

Antiracist educator Robin DiAngelo first coined the term "white fragility" in 2011, and since then it's been invoked by critics from Samantha Bee to Charles Blow. "White fragility" refers to the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially. These include emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and behaviors including argumentation and silence. In this book, DiAngelo unpacks white fragility, explaining the underlying sociological phenomena. She'll draw on examples from her work and scholarship, as well as from the culture at large, to address these fundamental questions: How does white fragility develop? What does it look like? How is it triggered? What can we do to move beyond white fragility and engage more constructively?

In a nutshell: A white author, with years of being an antiracist educator and research, helps us white people understand white fragility and how we can combat it.

Published: June 26th, 2018
Format: Ebook
Number of Pages: 187
Finished: June 2020
Rating: 5⭐
Diversity: Working on being anti-racist?

My Thoughts

This is a beginner book on white fragility and why us white people can be so difficult in confronting our own racism and recognizing systemic racism and how deeply ingrained it is. I truly believe every white person should read this book. Sure, there are bound to be some white people who have studied racism and are well past the book but a good reminding never hurts because it is a lifelong battle. If one lets oneself become complacent any progress will be lost.

I also truly believe now that EVERY white person is racist. Please realize I am not attacking you. I am white and group myself in that too. Racism is so ingrained in our culture, our society, our media, in our silence, that we don’t even realize so much of it and are unconsciously participating in it. It isn’t good people can’t be racist, any racist is a bad person. It doesn’t work that way.

This is well researched, it’s frank and thought provoking. Please take the time to sit with it, reflect, and think. If it’s uncomfortable, good. Being uncomfortable is NOT a bad thing, it means you are being given the opportunity to learn and grow. No one is perfect, we all have room to learn, grow and do better. Always.

It’s not a long book but please do not rush it. I am talking to white people as this book won’t really tell people of color stuff they don’t already know and may be very triggering to them. White people though, need to hear these words.

It gives examples and tips. I highlighted some (and since I read it on ebook I made some of my highlights visible on here). Don’t be afraid to speak up against racism. For black people it’s life and death. It’s ok to be anxious and to say stuff wrong as we are learning and hopefully continue to learn, it’s not ok to be silent and to not try.

It shows how racism is held in it’s place and that we can and need break the cycles. It mentions it’s literally impossible to have a racist-free upbringing. It talks about several things and is accessible. White people, please read this book and reflect on it. It made me uncomfortable at times, but for that I am thankful because it’s necessary and means I can learn something. It’s better than the opposite.

The only negatives I could find is it’s a bit repetitive but I think that might be helpful to drill some things in, and every time it said “he or she” would it could have just said “they” and been more inclusive with less words bugged me, but don’t let that stop you from reading it. Every time I came across that I just made sure to re-read the sentence and take in what I needed too, because of how important it is. I will not be stopping here. I have so much more reading to do.

My Review on Goodreads where you can see some stuff I highlighted.

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Friday, June 19, 2020

May 2020 Wrap Up

What I Read

Fifty Shades Freed by E.L. James 4.5⭐
Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender 5⭐
The Backstagers #5 by James Tynion IV, Rian Sygh 4⭐
The Backstagers #6 by James Tynion IV, Rian Sygh 5⭐
The Backstagers #7 by James Tynion IV, Rian Sygh 5⭐
The Backstagers #8 by James Tynion IV, Rian Sygh 5⭐
Castaways by Brian Keene 4.25⭐
The Drowning Girl by CaitlĂ­n R. Kiernan DNF: Unrated
The Complete Peanuts Vol. 1: 1950-1952 by Charles M. Schulz 3⭐
Graymatter by Nicholas Gray 4.25⭐
Frankenstein Alive, Alive: The Complete Collection (Frankenstein Alive, Alive!) by Steve Niles 5⭐
Vampirella (2011-2014) Vol. 1: Crown of Worms (Vampirella (2011-)) by Eric Trautmann 5⭐
I Am Not Your Final Girl by Claire C. Holland 2.25⭐
To Be Devoured by Sara Tantlinger 5⭐
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins 4.5⭐
Drop Dead Gorgeous by R.L. Stine 4⭐

I really enjoyed most of what I read in May! Not everything, but most.

What I Watched

Hellier Season 2 Episodes 4-5. Hellier is alright. Siren Season 3 Episodes 1-2 and I am really disappointed in where it's going. I looked up spoilers and I am just so disappointed. The reason it was groundbreaking and I loved it so much is going down the toilet. I don't know why they are going that route but it makes me sad. And the My Little Pony Memories episodes.

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) 2.5⭐
Us (2019) 4.5⭐
The Meg (2018) 4⭐
Unfriended: Dark Web (2018) 5⭐
March of the Penguins (2005) 4⭐
Ma (2019) 3⭐
American Pie (1999) 3⭐
American Pie (2001) 3.5⭐
American Wedding (2003) 4⭐

I reasonably enjoyed what I watched in May.

Blog Posts

April 2020 Book Haul
April 2020 Wrap Up
Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender Book Thoughts (And my non-binary/demiboy feels)
Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy by E.L. James Book Thoughts
Define "Well Read"

Videos Posted

April Book Haul Part 2 [CC]
April 2020 Wrap Up: What I Read [CC]
April 2020 Wrap Up: Life + Animal Crossing + Writing [CC]
Horror Life Tag [CC]
May 2020 Bullet Journal [CC]
Reading Habits Book Tag [CC]

What did you do in May? Any thoughts on what I did? Comment down below! :)

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Friday, June 12, 2020

Black Lives Matter

I'm sure you know by now George Floyd was murdered by police. A black person being murdered by police is nothing new. As a white person I am not the one you should be listening to on racism, police brutality, anti-racism, etc. Please GO LISTEN TO BLACK PEOPLE!

I've recently learned (and I know I still have a lot of learning to do) being "not racist" isn't good enough. And no matter how "not racist" you think you are as a white person, you still are. This isn't an attack. Systemic racism runs deep, in ways us white folk, myself included, don't even realize, don't think about, because it doesn't affect us. We need to step up and listen and work on being actively anti-racist. There are so many ways one can help.

If you worry whatever little you can do isn't enough, don't. Don't use "I can barely do anything" as an excuse to do nothing. Stuff nearly everyone can do: Listen to black people. Follow them on twitter, youtube, instagram etc. and listen to what they have to say. Do not demand they educate you, that is emotional labor that they do not owe you. Many are speaking up themselves though, so listen to what they have to say. Think about their words. Sit with them. If it's uncomfortable, that's a good thing, it means you are being given the opportunity to learn and grow. Take it.

On social media, share their words, boost their voices. Share, retweet, etc. In terms of educating yourself, free ways to do so include google if you have access to the internet. Google it. If you have access to a library see if you library does libby or overdrive and if they do Hoopla. I mention that for my fellow homebound folks who can't or find it difficult to get out the house for whatever reason. If you can go the library, go see what they have, but otherwise try getting a library card if you don't already have one and seeing about libby and hoopla because via them you can get ebooks and audiobooks for free right at home through your library. If you can (it's cheap but I understand not everyone has the money) you can also check out They have a vast selection of ebooks and auiobooks you can check out.

If you do have money to donate or spend on black owned businesses/artists/authors, you can do that as well to help. A great resource to figure out where to start helping is here I plan on working on reading more books by black authors and listening to more black voices. Sure, I already did, but I didn't really do it on purpose and I need to be more conscious of it. I can and need to do better going forward, and educate myself.

People say "Black Lives Matter" because they are treated like they do not. Saying "All Lives Matter" takes away from that point. If you're saying "but all lives DO matter!", no one is saying they don't. However black lives are treated as less than, are killed for the color of their skin, are treated like they don't matter, have been shown their lives don't matter to a lot of people, to society. That is why we say "Black Lives Matter". Black lives are the ones in danger. Please stop drowning out a plea for justice.

I will not be silent because white silence is violence and to be silent is to be complicit.

"We can disagree and still love each other, unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist." - James Baldwin

I hope I am not over-stepping, but if I am or getting anything wrong, please let me know. I promise to listen and work on doing better.

Again, the link for a place to start learning and helping is

Do not stop there though. Keep going. Go and listen to black people.

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Friday, June 5, 2020

May 2020 Book Haul


Inside Jobs: Tales from a Time of Quarantine by Ben H. Winters
How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps by Andrew Rowe
The Flying Flamingo Sisters by Carrie Seim
Exit Interview with My Grandmother by Lily Meyersohn
Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by Neil deGrasse Tyson
Ten Drugs: How Plants, Powders, and Pills Have Shaped the History of Medicine by Thomas Hager
The Deep, Deep Snow by Brian Freeman
Conspiracies & Conspiracy Theories: What We Should and Shouldn't Believe - and Why by Michael Shermer
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
The Life We Bury by Allen Eskens


Secrets in the Dark by Darcy Coates
Kill River by Cameron Roubique
The Good Hawk by Joseph Elliott

Physical Books

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime, Vol. 1 by Fuse
Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender
Non-Binary Lives - An Anthology of Intersecting Identities by Jos Twist, Ben Vincent, Meg-John Barker, Kat Gupta
Witches of Ash and Ruin by E. Latimer
The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow
What's Your Pronoun?: Beyond He and She by Dennis Baron
All Boys Aren't Blue by George M. Johnson
Victoria by Ruby Jean Jensen
Escaping Exodus by Nicky Drayden
Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space (Exploded Views) by Amanda Leduc
The Pack by David Fisher
Disabled Voices by s.b. smith, various
Baby Dolly by Ruby Jean Jensen
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins
Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie

So what you have gotten in May? Have you read any of these? Comment down below! :)

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Friday, May 29, 2020

Define "Well Read"

I've been thinking about what "well read" means lately, and I might have come to the conclusion it's impossible to be "well read", or near impossible, unless you mean well read in a specific niche or genre. To be broadly well read i'd say one needs to read a lot of books from all age categories and genres. Middle Grade, Children's, Young Adult, Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Horror, Mysteries, Thrillers, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Non-fiction, Graphic Novels, Short Stories, Long ass tomes, etc. Anything and everything.

And of course also from diverse voices. Authors of color, queer authors, disabled authors, neurodiverse authors, non-binary and trans authors, authors from different places in the world, from different religions/spiritualities etc. It would take a long long time to read enough to be considered "well read" in that sense, but man would it be a fun and interesting journey!

If one means well read in a specific genre or many books would that take?

Also, what I don't like is the snobbery of people who are, or think they are, well read, looking down on those that aren't or don't want to be. Reading is meant to be fun and enjoyed. People read for many reasons and a popular reason is pure enjoyment, and there is nothing wrong with that! It's the main reason I read.

Would I like to try to be "well read"? Well sure. I do enjoy reading all over the place in terms of genres, voices and categories. But I don't know if i'd ever consider myself well read, because what does that even mean? How many books does that take? Are there certain books i'd need to read? Everyone's definition could differ.

I think i'm going to stop worrying about what "well read" means, and just focus on reading a bunch of great books and enjoying reading! Yes, I do want to read from many genres, categories and voices and I consider that important to me for various reasons, but whether I ever attain "well read"? Who cares. As long as I continue enjoying the books i'm reading.

What does well read mean to you, and do you care? Comment down below!

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Friday, May 22, 2020

Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy by E.L. James Book Thoughts

Fifty Shades of Grey

In a Nutshell: An erotic romance trilogy.

Published: May 25th, 2011, Sept 13th, 2011 and April 17, 2012
Format: Physical
Number of Pages: 514, 532 and 579
Finished: May 2020
Rating: 4.5⭐ (for all 3 of them)
Diversity: None

My Thoughts

I actually really enjoyed this trilogy and wish I had read it years ago but I had listened to all the nay-sayers and everyone shaming anyone who liked it or even dared to read it. I was in my early 20s and at the time let the shame get to me and followed the crowd, I mean everyone was saying how it's awful and abusive must be...right? Also I had been in an abusive relationship when I was 19-20 so I did NOT want to read that at the time, which is certainly valid but now having read it...I wish I hadn't listened to others to be completely honest and just read it for myself.

Is it very well written? No, but that rarely if ever bothers me. I'm a character-driven reader and here for the feels. Christian is fucked up, of course he is. But as the trilogy goes on you learn WHY, and that shit happens. He has childhood trauma and a lot of it and I got to thinking...if Christian was a woman...would anyone blame him (instead her) for being fucked up? No, I really don't think they would, or at least not for the most part. I think people would understand and be sympathetic but of course he's a man..he should just man up or something I guess? Oh wait...that's toxic masculinity talking...

He never got the help or understanding growing up that he needed. And BDSM is, in my opinion, SO NOT THE POINT of the story (and for that matter isn't really that large of a part of it). It is so far from the point that I saw. The bitch is just that...a bitch (which will only make sense if you've read it).

I found the story complex and layered and I really felt for the characters. There were a lot of instances where I thought "this needs to be talked about more and dealt with" and guess what? Every. Single. Time. it was. Ok, once in awhile (not often) I wish things had been fleshed out a little more but it's not like they were ignored. You just had to wait sometimes to get to where they'd be dealt with and talked about.

Ana, oh Ana. I loved her character arc! I ended up relating to her at times and loved seeing how strong she was, became and her standing up for herself. Does Christian do things that aren't ok? Of course he does. As stated he has a lot of trauma, from childhood, that never got dealt with when or as it should have, and people are messy. He's real. Does that make everything he does ok? HELL NO! And I am not claiming that it does. Hence what I said in the last paragraph. Ana stands up to him and for herself. The character development through-out but ESPECIALLY in the last book was amazing! For both of them.

Is Christian scary sometimes? Yes. But Ana ends up sticking up for herself and being SO FREAKING STRONG. Her strength was amazing. And just what he needed. Did she have to stay with him? No. She had every right to leave (and at one point did). Christian needed someone strong to stick up to him as well as help him through all the aforementioned trauma. He does also have professional help as well. Ana could've left him, and I would've understood, but she loved him and Christian did deserve love, the trauma and lack of care wasn't his fault, he wasn't easy to love. Sometimes people aren't easy to love but still deserve it. Shades of Grey.

She didn't deserve all his crap either, but was strong enough to stand up to him and to love him and to eventually make it work. It wasn't easy. But life isn't always easy. It's hard to talk about and I wish I could find better words. Love isn't a fix but hard to love people deserve love too, they just need someone strong enough but that is no one's personal responsibility, or even just one person's responsibility (as I said he did have a therapist too). Sometimes people don't work and that's ok, sometimes they do work but with hard work that can be worth it. Each person and situation is different. many things i'd heard about (and believed before I read it) about Fifty Shades of Grey online that turned out to be nothing but lies. I even heard someone say something along the lines of "let me save you, the third book of Fifty Shades is just Christian asking Ana for anal, her saying no, and then Anal in the end" and...there is never a question of Anal and there is no all.

But stuff like that (many other things, that's just one example that I remember) that are spouted online from people that ACT like they've read the books in an effort to make sure no one reads the books, or just people shaming others in general, but let me reiterate that i'm talking to past me as well. Granted I never claimed to have read the books when I hadn't but I acted above them, believed what others said without reading for myself, and i'm sure I shamed anyone who dared to read them or wanted to by following the "holier-than-thou" crowd. And for past me, I am so sorry. That is wrong and was wrong of me.

It's fine to not like books, and I understand why people would not like Fifty Shades of Grey, and it's fine to not even want to read books for any reason. We can have different opinions and that's fine. What I have an issue with is people shaming others for reading something, acting like they are above others and stuff like that. I'm tired, i'm pretty sure you already get my point.

There were minor things in each book that made me give all of them 4.5 instead of a full 5 stars, but I loved the entire trilogy. Now at some point I need to watch the movies.

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